With Fall approaching my heart returns to one of my favorite Autumn films, George A. Romero's The Crazies, aka Code Name Trixie. My favorite part of the movie is the swoony pessimistic Vietnam-war-protest folk song that plays over the closing credits while the quarantine officer is airlifted from the chaos in Evans City caused by the accidental release of a biological weapon by the US government to be flown over to another town where symptoms of exposure have been reported. I've scoured the internet to find the lyrics for this song, or a full version of it, and my labors have been for naught. Thus I have taken it upon myself to transcribe the lyrics from the portion of the song that plays over the end credits. Track info courtesy of IMDB.

"Heaven Help Us"
Composed by Carole Bayer Sager and Melissa Manchester
Sung by Beverly Bremers
Courtesy of Sceptor Records

Heaven help us,
Firelight, won't you let me be?
I feel so helpless,
How can I find the morning?

Daytime heroes,
Saving your piece of sunshine sky,
A safer place where I,
Can get up and find the morning.

If time is a healer,
Then why are we wounded,
And why are those people dying?

And I get so weary,
In ruins of sadness,
I can't even hear people crying,
But I know they do.

Marching soldier,
Fighting behind a losing cause,
A better war is yours,
If you can find...
The morning.

Heaven help us, heaven help us.

Current Mood: Wistful
Current Music: (Same)

I wish to apologize to those three very nice people who contributed small sums of money to me during my two day tenure canvassing for the environment through ffpir. I quit after two days following the realization that I had no heart for the intrusive and manipulative tactics I felt the job called for, and I'm sorry to have harmed anyone by accepting contributions under false pretenses (that contributions would go toward the group that contracted pirg and not to the pirg office itself to support the salaries of canvassers such as myself) in coming to that realization. I've learned my lesson, and resolve to commit myself to pursue activism solely on a volunteer basis in the future.

Robert Englund has declined to appear in a planned remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street.

This changes nothing, The Robert Englund theory still stands.

The Robert Englund theory states that what all actors fear most, what is always haunting them in the back of their minds, is that at any point their careers might be derailed if Robert Englund decides that he wants to compete with them for a role. Robert Englund is still the greatest actor of all time, and because he wants no part in a bullshit likely vaporware remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street does nothing to change that. Actors know, Englund's still out there.

It's been a long time since I've written in here, the result of no internet, 5 classes, bone grafts, going full time and working 30 hours a week. Lots and lots has happened though. Everything is so much better after my social transition. I look better than I ever imagined I would, I'm not getting harassed and abused, I didn't get fired from my job, and I didn't feel silenced in my classes. Of course, as I haven't had time to do much of anything, I've got no major movie topics to cover. I worked on some films last semester, which really is just a draining experience, especially incorporated into all the other shit I had going on. Guess I can append this entry later when I've better recovered from finals and have gathered some ideas to express, just checking in from the other side.

After much hype and controversy I unexpectedly stumbled onto an impromptu screening of Catherine Crouch's The Gendercator tonight. The film's a disjointed, shitty mess. I was honestly more affronted as a student of film than as a transgender woman. The threadbare narrative was very unfocused. If she truly wanted to get her message of trans-invalidity to a viewer unfamiliar with the history of the politics at work she needed to flesh out her presented concepts significantly. Hate film doesn't have to be horrible film. Film study has taught me that the most unredeemable ideology can be attributed to great cinema, like Griffifth's Birth of a Nation, Riefenstahl's Triumph of the Will and Jacopetti/Prosperi's Africa Addio.

It seems almost pointless to attack the film's politics when the work is so ridiculous that it cannot support the weight of any argument. The plot is woefully undeveloped; she doesn't explain how binary-identified transsexual individuals came to be powerful and respected pillars of future society, just states so much as fact. Stereotypes abound, the simplistic and fascistic gender concepts projected onto the "trannies" seem to be rooted in the most conservative and restrictive gender theories of the past century.

The argument can be made that she is simply referencing a long-standing ideology implicitly understood by her intended audience, and that more thorough explorations are not necessary. That may very well be the case, as its essentially an experimental film that will probably not be seen outside of queer fringe circles. However, it is presented as a standalone work and therefore its ideas must be self-sustaining and well supported within the film. The superficial approach taken severely undercuts any true political ambition therein. It is a testament to our community's marginalization that such a stunted and meager work can be threatening.

I'm surprised that I've yet to read a criticism of the film from an analytical perspective. Perhaps others consider the tools of cinematic analysis to be steeped in patriarchal notions, and decided that such an approach is inapplicable to a 'radical' work such as this (though that's certainly not prevented the analysis of any film to my knowledge). The focus has largely been on the film's message, with no major attention given to the manner in which that message is relayed. It's fucked up to show this film under an inclusive LGBT banner, but as a political tool its far too reliant on a certain assumed bigotry to be very harmful. The weakness of her ideology, and the contrived and compromised formal application of such, leaves the work a toothless, hateful mess of a film.

Tags: film, politics, trans
Current Mood: contemplative

Switch Killer (aka Trans-American Killer):

The 80s slasher meets transgender again, except it's been displaced by 20 years. Of course, that's not to say it has a modern, realistic, or sympathetic view of trans people. An abusive boyfriend's furious when his girlfriend leaves him for a woman. And so he... transitions? Pretty much wholly problematic in every sense of the word; it is thoroughly and horribly offensive and shitty to women, sex workers, and transgender people.

The killer does not seem to transition for any personal or internal reasons, yet I get the impression that she reflects the filmmaker's perceptions of trans women (and their understanding of the audience's perceptions). Her body is shown as a monstrous mutation; completed by scarred, misshapen, lopsided and obviously 'false' breasts. Her genital status is inconsistent; in one scene she has sex with a guy for "the first time like this" (presumably post SRS) and in the following scene is shown to pee standing up. Maybe that's an attempt to shit on intersex folk too.

The film goes out of its way to depict trans femininity as false and trans identities as incoherent. It's not just trans women, though. It is openly spiteful towards all women on-screen, especially the sex workers and lesbians that populate most of its cast. The protagonist is shown to discover that she's not really a lesbian; that her deviated sexuality was simply a twisted up misunderstanding, such as the killer's (presumed) trans gender. Her girlfriend is shown to be a heartless and thoughtless bitch, and is seemingly depicted as an 'everylesbian'.

What's surprising to me is that while I hated it as a human being and especially as a transsexual woman, I didn't hate it so much as a horror fan. It was well paced and had frequent enough shock scenes. Anyone could tell that it was made on the cheap with the most limited resources, yet it still worked overall (and the faux Casablanca that is shown through out is probably the highlight of the film). All of that said, though, it is sad that we're still culturally marginalized enough that these filmmakers would depict a trans woman in such a manner.

I find myself constantly in a state of flux as far as vicarious identification is concerned... as a horror fan and as a transsexual woman. I guess the emotional part of it didn't carry as much weight before. I liked horror movies because they were often highly stylized, had a 'ride' aspect to them, could carry social/political subtexts, had cool scores and were just fun to watch. Horror films also seem to be the best marketed, and have the most iconic posters/art/characters/trailers of any genre There is perhaps a certain nostalgia involved as well, as I tend to gravitate toward horror from the 60s-80s.

Now it seems I'm trying to engage more with the story rather than focusing entirely on the formal aspects of the works, and in many of these horror movies, especially slashers, there never seems to be all that much there. I'm kind of bewildered why the transgender women are always killers in slasher films, because it certainly doesn't seem to play out that way at all in reality. Maybe its because (as I've noted before) we're so easily 'other'ed. Perhaps the conventional wisdom is that an audience just can't identify with one of those trannies. Maybe the reality of queer victimhood would detract from the fantasy.

Perhaps it is even impossible to ask a mainstream horror audience to accept, let alone identify with, queer characters (other than as incomprehensible villains and monsters). This is not unique to horror either, but it seems more pronounced there. My perception of horror audiences, from seeing the films, listening to Deadpit, visiting forums, etc. is that they are very nervous with anything that might challenge standard assumptions regarding gender and sexuality. While I don't think that being trans will hurt me so much with eventually trying to find work in the film industry (at least I only expect my prospects to be moderately more dim than they would be if I hadn't transitioned), I do wonder how a horror audience would react to work done by a transsexual woman. I'd like to think that the quality of the work would supersede any personal aspects of the filmmaker, I can't help but feel that it would be a critical factor. Which sucks because I might come up with some kickass additions to horror some day.

Tags: horror, trans
Current Mood: hungry

Like I didn't stop writing in this... figure I'll do my best to try to cover as many of the movies I've seen since, essentially, my jaw surgery as I can...

(in roughly the order I saw them)

Milo - Really generic horror movie. Kid in raincoat, weird voice, dead friends. I guess it was nice to see one of these that featured a group of grown adult women- not teenagers. But only really distinct in that regard. Not really frightening or suspenseful, really, but I've seen worse.

Sleepaway Camp 2/3 - These sequels would take a very different approach from the original (which I'd written about previously). Much more comedy/parody than horror, and it's a treat to see parodies of 80s slasher flicks that look/feel like 80s slasher flicks (ie not as cliched like Scream/Scary Movie). Angela's back and has affirmed her female/TS identity, and sees to it that campers who break the rules are punished. Her transness is only briefly mentioned in these films, it was kind of cool to see a transwoman character whose trans status was not the definition of her character on film, even if the definition of her character was insane child murdering psycho killer. I guess it's the tongue in cheek approach that makes me like these films yet be very uncomfortable with portrayals like Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs.

Ginger Snaps - Damn, what a movie. Any praise I heap upon it would only echo the years of positive words hurled at it. A horror film that adopts a female perspective, is exceptionally well written acted, and reinvents a stale archetype of the genre... I really can't reccomend this film enough, even to those not typically fans of the genre.

The Peacekeeper: DTV tripe pairs Dolph Lundgren with Montel Williams to prevent some terrorists from launching some nukes. I'd say I was disappointed, but my expectations were pretty low- I guess I've picked up worse titles to make 3 for $10 at GameStop, but this one is especially useless. And I'm a fair-moderate fan of the Dolph. I guess I'd prefer to see him in a film where... interesting things happen around him.

Two Girls and a Guy: Natasha Gregson-Wagner's acting in this to me was so bad that she would've made Heather Graham's seem acceptable... if they weren't sharing the stage with Robert Downey Jr. Not a bad look at relationships/sexual intersections, but perhaps a tad too... exploitative for its own good (there's that feminism again I suppose (my feminism makes no defense for shitty acting by women though, see above)).

Beastmaster: Umm, why? Don Coscarelli could've made something a hell of a lot better than this after Phantasm. I tried to ignore the reviews because, fuck, I love Conan the Barbarian... I love Phantasm... put 'em together and? Boring. It does pick up in the second half, but its such a pointless exercise that even violent sword and sorcery excess doesn't do much to redeem it. Really, anyone interested should just watch Conan the Barbarian.

Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed: It ain't no Ginger Snaps. Not that it's trying to be. This really resonated with me at the time I watched it because I was undergoing hormone withdrawal and seemed to be going through a lot of what Brigitte experiences in the ward while deprived of the poison that keeps the beast at bay. On its own its a really strong film, unfortunately I watched it with expectations of it meeting the highs of the first film that were simply unrealistic.

Ginger Snaps Back: Honestly, I got no defense for this one. It seemed like a sloppy cash-in effort, that was contracted into existence. Perkins and Isabella try to make the best of it, but its such a well, fucked, premise that there's really no saving it. Wouldn't have been too bad if they had made it a prequel without Ginge and Beege in it at all- still have the 19th century Canadians dealing with the beast, but their presence is so puzzling and completely drew me out of the film. Should've taken the money and done a completely different film or something.

May: Angela Bettis as one hella fucked up Frankenstein. Surely striking a chord with all moody and introverted girls everywhere. A full-on identification is pretty tough though, as May's a little too off the deep end. Such a complex character makes for a great, if sometimes unpleasant, horror film (then again I suppose all horror films have a duty to be unpleasant on some level).

Silent Running: Another case of identification being thwarted by a protagonist who was just a little too fucked. Granted the situation is far more crazy than any of the guy's actions. The last plants evar!1 being destroyed for seemingly no reason. Every human minus one not giving a shit. I guess from the posters I expected there to be a lot more saving plants, like near disasters where plants almost got destroyed but were just barely rescued. The hour and a half or so of the guy hanging out with robots was certainly unexpected. I wish I could say the superior Douglas Trumbull film was something more than uneven, with great ideas and great visuals but a lackluster plot structure- essentially the same I can say for the lesser Trumbull film.

Gilmore Girls Seasons 3-6: A disastrous consequence of being young, early-in-transition, recovering from jaw surgery and being on too much hydrocondone. Umm... I enjoyed it enough at the time. At first it was kind of a fun, with the goofy town and the mother/daughter best friends thing. Then when it stopped being fun all I was really left with was the increasingly more desperate and inane story arcs that seemed to be the direct result of waning ratings and dying support. I guess I didn't really hate the show until Rory fell in with that rich guy. Then I kind of realized how dripping with class privilege all of the characters in the show- even the quaint, weird characters- weilded with seemingly no conscious awareness, and even the uber-rich were presented as just folks (a hallmark of all four seasons I watched, not just the last two). Unfortunately, the montonously breathless reference laden dialogue does not redeem the unrelentingly bourgeois perspective of the series for me. Maybe WB shows should be above ideological analysis, but fuck that noise.

Black Hawk Down: Not the Ridley Scott I know. Lost interest. Started out well. Was probably not in the best mood/mindset for it, as much as the drugs might've worked in favor of the Gilmore Girls they must've interfered somewhat with my ability to pay attention to this.

Little Children: Unsettling, post-Blue Velvet suburban nightmare piece. Really good writing/acting. Interesting examination of fear, hatred, love and lust among seemingly normal, well off white people. More people should see it. To write more would be to give too much away, though, this is just one to be seen fresh with few preconceptions.

Fur: Robert Downey Jr. again, this time as a fuckin wolfman! The kind of movie I'd have to make if it didn't exist. Bizarre, fucked up, but uneven. Slow starting, and it really never does go where I hoped it would. Downey has a hard time getting through beneath the make up, I have to imagine a non-Superhuman actor in the role would've sunk the film entirely.

The Station Agent: Peter Dinklage kickin' ass! Great, great, great stuff. Wonderful movie. The Dink's career trajectory's pretty fucked up for him being such a great actor, though. He's in this, sentimental yet honest human portrayal film, sure to win the heart of anyone who watches it... then he's in shitty dog movies like Lassie and Underdog. I'm looking forward to that funeral movie though, where he plays the corpse's secret lover. As much as he'll inevitably steal that movie, though, it'd be really great to see him in something like this again.

House of the Dead: Boll-shit. At least its all in good fun, thoug.

Heart of America: Boll-shit, but disgusting as its pompous self-important Boll-shit with a message... that involves shit-eating and raping the mentally disabled. How wonderful.

Edmond: Here's a movie everyone should see as my friend and I did: with no knowledge at all of what's going to happen and only that Stuart Gordon was the director and William H. Macy's the star. What a fucked up, unsettling, creepy ass ride.

Bad Boys II: Fun, loud action movie. Also a homophobic, sexist action movie. But there are explosions. And Comedy, Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are having enough fun that I could kind of overlook when it crossed the lines. Packed with ridiculous over the top set-pieces, it's paced very well and doesn't feel overlong at its somewhat exorbitant running time. Michael Bay seemed to really nail his aesthetic here, exhibiting a keen knowledge of his strengths and weaknesses as a (pseudo) filmmaker.

Bloodrayne: More Boll-shit. This one barely kept my attention. I guess Kristanna Loken was like a vampire or something, I don't know, nothing really made much sense.

The Wild Bunch: My introduction to Sam Peckinpah. Terribly violent western. Well-made film, if you're into the genre. Not really my bag, but I was able to overlook my disinterest in the genre (and the film's crazy sexism) to appreciate the filmmaking. If you're into hypermasculine macho posturing though, I'd highly recommend it.

Over the Top: Stallone! Arm wrestling! Not-Fred Savage! This movie rocked. I'm an unabashed fan of the Sly one, and this is right on par with Tango and Cash and Lock Up for being awesome and fucking ridiculous, perhaps maybe with too much emphasis on that latter point.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer: I liked the first one enough, and this one was maybe a little bit not quite as good. It's decent enough, though. I had a hard time not laughing when Jessica Alba tried to act though. She's not a very good actress. Acting is not her strong suit.

Bad Boys (TBS): Alright, but not even close to the sublime ludicrosity of the sequel. That said, I should withhold judgment until I see an uncut version., though.

Daywatch: Wow. I was pretty indifferent toward Nightwatch, but this was amazing. Such a step up, in all aspects. Makes the first film almost dispensable- the pertinent information is satisfactorily covered in the prologue, and adds a sense of weight and importance, of events occurring in a narrative, that was sorely lacking in the first film. Being the 2nd film in a supposed trilogy, its even more surprising at how conclusive the end seems to be.

Fatal Contact: Bird Flu in America: OMG Teh Bird Flu!1! Laughably overwrought TV scare movie, the end of the world in a few short months, because of some dickhead going to China. Worth it for the heavy handed attempts to incite hysteria, and the incredibly cheesy final shot of birds carrying a new mutated strain of the flu flying ominously towards Amurrica.

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives: Another Friday, and this one's pretty much on par with what worked in 3, maybe a little more focused. The formula's basically perfected here, and the entry's greatest strength is probably its confidence. I got the impression that the filmmakers kind of understood how ridiculous this Jason shit it is and decided to have just enough fun with it without actually making a joke of the thing (except for the awesome opening Bond parody). I guess I'd tie it with 3, ahead of 2 and 1.

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon: Cool, smart homage to the great 80s slashers. Unfortunately falls off a little bit when it becomes more of a straightforward slasher and less of a deconstruction, but a great time. Fans of the genre really should get out and rent this, as its the best we've gotten since Slither, which is just a damn shame.

Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood: I finally got to see Lar-Park Lincoln battle Jason, and it didn't really live up to the hype. It was cool seeing a not sexless female (she certainly seemed to be interested in that guy even if they didn't get around to it) in a slasher who also knew how to take care of herself. Not as good as parts 3 and 6, maybe a little ahead of part 2, above part 1.

Live Free or Die Hard: Umm, not completely evil. Could've been worse. If you're just looking for Bruce Willis superhero fare, you'll be satisfied. Die Hard fans will probably be disappointed. Willis is in good shape though, and Justin Long's pretty good too. Too much violence against women, as well as sexist/racist jokes. Kevin Smith did his best to ruin the movie, but didn't quite succeed. I don't know, I'll never watch it again, that's for sure.

Hellboy: Blood and Iron: What's with these animated Hellboy films not really having all that much to do with Hellboy? Sword of Storms was all about ancient Japan and that fake myth, and now this one's all about vampires. I know HB can't get a break, but it'd be cool if he could have a more prominent role in movies bearing his name.

The Firm: Tom Cruise, stuff, lawyers, Gene Hackman, Wilford Brimley. I slept through about 1/3-1/2 of it. Can't believe this was a damn July 4th release. At least Wilford Brimley was in it.

The Woods: Better than average witch school movie, with a plot vaguely remuiniscent of Suspiria. I guess Lucky McKee is 3 for 3 with me, this one had me engaged all the way through, although the twists are a little predictable. The creepiness of the headmistresses and the school probably left the greatest impression on me. Bruce Campbell was unnecessary.

Strangers With Candy: Unremarkable Film-sized rehash of the TV show. I'd recommend it only to those who absolutely loved the show (who'll be bored to tears) and to audiences who completely missed it (who might find it slightly amusing). The premise was unpleasant and the comedy was hit-miss on the series, and it remains so in this film, although I found it less tolerable the 2nd time around (and they really needed to get the original dad, the new one was horrible).

Transformers: Started out OK, if misogynist and surprisingly racist, but ran off the rails with its incomprehensible finale. There needed to be some greater variation in the robot designs, not to mention some heavy cleanup in the narrative/pacing, especially in the 2nd act. Hopefully a sequel might be better, without having to establish so much exposition and with the freedom to introduce a lot more diverse crew of 'bots.


Seed of Chucky

Frantic

Pursued

The Deal


I... think that's all. Luckily it was a slow period- and I left out anything I had previously seen (most of my post-surgery viewing)... my pile of unwatched releases sits dauntingly at 50...

I'm late on this one, and probably forgetting more than a few, oh well...

Grindhouse: I liked it. Surprised by how entertaining Planet Terror was, though truth be told I probably preferred Death Proof. Fun time in the theater, even Eli Roth made good.

3 Extremes: Dumplings was the best part. Really creepy, and touched a lot of nerves. The second one was OK, not great, and I can barely remember Miike's. Not too bad for a modern horror anthology, though. I'd say I should check out the longer version of Dumplings, but I doubt I could stomach it.

The Cheerleaders: I waited how many years for this? Cute movie, almost charming today, though definitely very risque for its time. I wish I had just rented the damn thing though, can't believe I wasted so much thought on this damn movie. Since 8th grade!

Phantasm: Great movie that I didn't pay half the attention it deserves. I've seen it before but need to watch it again. There is so much to love between the Tall Man, the dwarves, the spheres, Reg, the other dimension, etc. that it's really not worth me reiterating what's been said on internets a million times before.

Phantasm 2: Decent sequel. I got to admit I found Legros kind of hot in this one, but not nearly as awesome as Reggie. Not great, the opening seems kind of prolonged and the stuff at the house seems kind of routine. Lots of cool moments, though. Good ending.

Phantasm 3: More-or-less on par with the 2nd one. Zombie Mike was a pretty cool idea, as was Jody-sphere. I gotta be honest and say I liked the chick and I liked the kid. I can see where some might see them as trying to pander to a broader audience but I felt the characters were well constructed and the movie needed something like them to keep it from being so much rehash.

Phantasm 4: Honestly don't remember this one all that well, except that it was really trippy. Kind of going back to the first one, I suppose. The integration of all the old material worked in some places but was a little grating in others. To me it honestly seems that, as awesome as Reggie is, with this one the Phantasm well's pretty much dried up. Coscarelli's free to prove me wrong, though.

Night of the Creeps: Alright. Tom Atkins was pretty badass in his scenes, but the movie as a whole didn't make a huge impression. I definitely enjoyed it, but feel that it didn't quite live up to the hype.

The Monster Squad: Better. I liked this quite a bit more than Night of the Creeps, happy as fuck to see Leonard Cimino back fighting evil some more, he was the best part of V. Lot of cool jokes/lines, wonder how much of the script was written by Shane Black anyway. Need to see it in widescreen, though.

The Marine: Great ridiculous opening, mundane bullshit thereafter. Rock Candy.

The Condemned: Better than The Marine, but not by much. They pretty much stole this directly from Battle Royale, which would've been fine if they hadn't also stolen a bunch of shit from that dumb Rollerball remake. Why the hell'd they do that? I enjoyed it for what it's worth, no No Holds Barred, though. There are some holds barred.

Perfect Strangers: Yay, Larry Cohen movie! Not his best, though it's a good watch. The rad fem bashing is a bit much, I was kind of surprised to see that used as a target. Of course the script was great as always, lots of intricate weavings between the characters.

Spiderman 3: I liked it, mostly because the filmmakers made such strange choices on such an important and expensive movie. The special effects/fight scenes were so amazing, actually scared me a little, in as much as the lengths to which films might be asked to go to meet them. It seems that they're largely being overlooked though, which is nice. The butler stuff is really inexcusable, but I liked the hell out of most everything else, reminded me of reading those damn terrible X-Men comics last year.

Inside Man: More great shit from Spike Lee. Yet to see a bad Spike Lee movie, and this must be some of his most accessible work. His personality is still there, but I was kind of wishing he had made it a little more provocative. Still a great heist movie, Clive Owen on his game again.

Friday the 13th Part 3: Another Friday movie. The formula's really falling into place here. Lots of kills, a somewhat more restrained 'gaze' (less of the camera just ogling the female leads). I liked it more than 1, 2, 8 and X, but I've still got to see a few more to declare it a favorite.

Nightwatch: A lot things in this movie didn't make sense, and it was not totally original in a lot of places, but it was pretty entertaining for the most part. Some interesting story twists at the end. Not enough sexy vampire action (female or male). I'll probably watch the sequel, but I won't go out of my way for it.

Hearts and Souls: Robert Downey Jr., Charles Grodin, and the Closer. It was okay, nothing I'll watch again. Seeing Downey act 'woman' (and later 'black woman') was a little telling, though, on stereotypes and such... maybe? I dunno.

Maid of Honor: Yeah. I'm a sucker. Lionsgate sells a Lifetime movie as a horror movie and I buy it. To be honest it probably wasn't even necessary. It had some melodramatic highs, but it moved a little too slowly, and none of the characters were quite developed enough to hold my attention away from hoping for the next outburst.

I think I'm going to make some kind of post about buying cheap shitty DVDs just because they're cheap in the future. See above.

Tags: movies
Current Mood: sick

I've decided to reflect while Snakes and Arrows is transferring from CD to 'lossless' Atrac. Things seem to be going alright. I find myself kind of trepidatious around my housemates, wary and afraid to impose. I'm starting to wonder if they know I'm trans, and if not when/how I should tell them. The job is probably better than I expected. Half of it is the same shit I've been doing for almost two years, the other half is not more demanding just different. Better than I expected, better than White Castle. I miss having a DVD player. I can't believe how my grades turned out, completely beyond all expectations, even logic, perhaps. And now I'm about to listen to the first new Rush album in five years. Over an hour of new Rush, songs I've never heard before. It'll probably be another five years before I find myself in the same situation again, and it's possible I'll be killed in that time. I've eaten. I'm as relaxed as I'm going to be. It's about halfway through the seventh song, so I've got more time. Trans stuff is going well still, but I find I'm getting annoyed by things more. I hate my eyebrows, I might have to get them waxed. I hate, hate that my ejaculate seems to be thickening- a sign of resistance to the estrogen? Other than that it's going as well as it's been. My breasts are growing, etc. Just little things, pissing me off. I haven't done a movie journal in a while; maybe after I finish Friday the 13th part 3-D and Perfect Strangers. Or Inside Man. Or maybe I'll be too self-conscious to watch a movie in my room again and too nervous to be around my flatmates that I'll do neither. Oh well. Still going, about three more left. I really hope this is a good album. I've come to love Vapor Trails. My expectations are high but I know that its true quality won't be revealed until about the 5th or 6th listen... at least. I'll probably listen to it a few times at work tomorrow, can't imagine I won't. Maybe throw a Deadpit in the mix. It's not finished... it's finished!

Tags: trans
Current Mood: anxious

Don't wanna dream no more!

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors must be my favorite film of the, objectively, rather terrible series. So much wasted potential, though. All that time building up the kids with their powers and abilities, only to completely squandor all of that with such a lame ending. Maybe it can be remade some day, and they can all use teamwork to take down Freddy CounterStrike style. As long as they kept the song, which hasn't left my head in like four or five days.

Maybe tonight you'll be gooonnnnneeeee!

(A trans horror note: The ending of Sleepaway Camp? Legitimately creepy and disturbing, even to me, a transwoman)

Tags: movies
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: "Dream Warriors", Dokken